李敬芬:“动起来”托福作文
2014年10月22日 09:38 供稿单位:互联网 责编:[freemarker标签异常,请联系网站管理员] 浏览0 次
托福写作的目的在于通过这一命题形式,检测考生的语言功底。托福考试,归根到底仍然是一种语言水平考试,运用英语对自己的想法以及论据论点进行诠释是托福考试的重点。但是许多考生在进行写作时总会有这样的问题:用词不准确,频用简单词。这些词本身是没有什么问题的。但是如果经常性的使用,会给人留下一种“缺乏词汇量,表达不够灵活”的印象。那么有什么方法可以让托福写作变得更活呢?下面就通过一些具体的例子来和大家说说这个问题。
1.修改前:Overwork makes us lose leisure.
修改后:Overwork steals our leisure.
解析:“make”也是广大考生常用的常用的表达“使得”,“让”这个意思的词,但是 当我们把“使得我们失去”,换成“偷走”这个含义时,整个句子就生动起来了。
2. 修改前:I really believe that smoking is harmful to people’s health.
修改后:I have a profound conviction that smoking is harmful to people’s health.
解析:“conviction”的意思是“坚定的看法或信仰”,“have a profound conclusion”表示对某种看法深信不疑,作文中提出观点的句子用“have a profound conclusion”会比用“believe”态度更坚决,立场更鲜明,而且“believe”这个词非常简单,是英语初学者就应掌握的词汇,换成have a profound conclusion立即增加了句子的复杂程度,体现了较强的语言运用能力。类似表达“提出观点”的句子还有:
I hold a point of view that…
I hold the opinion that…
3. 修改前:We know that sometimes success is measured by how much money you earn.
修改后:It does not surprise us to discover that sometimes success is measured in terms of the money you earn.
解析:如上句的“believe”一样,“know”也是非常初级的词汇,托福作文中出现“I believe that…,I know that…”这样的表达只能体现考生写作技巧的稚嫩,用“It does not surprise us to discover that…”替换“We know that…”并没有改变原句的含义,却使全句顿时增添了亮点。
4. 修改前:We all know that most factories would be of no use if there were not clean water supply.
修改后:It goes without saying that most factories would be of no use if there were not clean water supply.
解析:同上例一样,“know”这样的初级词汇应避免在作文中使用,It goes without saying that…是一个固定结构,意思是“……是不言而喻的”,常在作文中用来引经据典或表明一个尽人皆知的道理,类似的表达还有:
An old saying goes that…
It is universally acknowledged that…
It is generally accepted that…
5 .修改前:The unexpected win of the match give us confidence.
修改后:The unexpected win of the match boost our confidence.
解析:
“give”也属于英语中初级、基本的词汇,只表示“给,给予”这个动作,不涉及动作的性质和状态,若表示增添信心,增强士气,比management has boosted morale throughout the company. 管理模式的改变使整个公司上下士气倍受鼓舞。
6. 修改前:Science and technology have greatly influenced our lives and our society is changing very rapidly.
修改后:Science and technology have come to pervade every aspect of our lives and, as a result, society is changing at a speed which is quite unprecedented.
解析:大家应该也了解了“greatly”,“rapidly”属于常用词,表示程度高、速度快,这样的词在表达效果上不够具体,缺乏说服力,就像大家看文章当然希望能看到的是实实在在的干货啊。所有修改后的句子中用了“pervade every aspect of our lives”就具体生动地表现出科技的影响力到底有多大,其影响力已渗透到我们生活的方方面面,“at a speed which is quite unprecedented”意为“以一种前所未有的速度”,形象地道出了变化速度之快。