大家在提高Coherence Cohesion这一项评分的时候,都是会更多地关注如何使用Cohesive devices,却忽略了思维的提升。今天我们就来聊一聊如何从思维角度提升自己写作的连贯性,避免“逻辑鸿沟”。话不多说,我们直接看几位同学的段落写作(在这里,首先感谢提供写作素材的各位同学~)
Example1
Individuals can do many things to protect the environment. people can reduce the times of driving private cars powered by petrol to go out and instead they could drive electric cars. The car emissions have many kinds of toxic gases, which is so harmful for the environment. And the carbon dioxide emitted by the cars will strengthen the greenhouse effect.
大家读完之后,是否有发现在展开论证部分存在的一些逻辑之间的断层。首先,这段主要在论证人们对于保护环境可以具体采取的一些措施,而同学也给出了一个具体行为“减少开cars powered by petrol”,但是,并没有说明减少开这类车和保护环境有什么关系,而是在讲这些车会给环境造成哪些问题。
在同学表达的基础上我做了一些简单调整,说明新能源汽替代传统汽车可以更好地减少排放破坏环境的气体,即更好地实现逻辑连贯。如下:
Example2:
The spread of multinational companies provides more job opportunities for people in the developing areas. To be specific, in the developing areas, the economic growth and the development of firms are relatively slower, so the jobs provided are pretty finite. Once the multinational firms settled in, the demand for labor increases, leading to more jobs be created.
从第二句话开始已经出现逻辑鸿沟,因为第二句的内容只在描述developing areas的情况,并不能扣住”multinational companies” 以及”more job opportunities” 如下:
对比我们修改之后的内容,大家可以进一步来理解:
看完两个例子之后,相信大家对于逻辑连贯会有更深刻地理解。在积累以及使用各种cohesive devices的同时,希望我们同学可以更多地从思维层面来作出改变,直接给出解释原因。同学们在备考写作的过程可以根据评分标准对症下药,这样可以事半功倍!